Thursday, April 29, 2010

back in the saddle

it's official. my maternity leave is over--or at least the government-funded aspect of my leave has ceased. in truth, i think a part of me will never fully return from this time in my life.pajama marathons would be very hard to give up.

so here i am. right at the point where the seemingly disparate parts of my life intersect. a meshing of the meghans. the year i've spent busting out creative raffi renditions, consulting google about teething remedies and being awake when the rest of the world is quiet and dark has changed me. my heart feels bigger. i am both more gentle and more fierce. i've done things that i would've previously told you that i couldn't do.

there are, of course, things that have remained the same. in particular, the feelings that i had when receving my last deposit from "EI-Canada": i feel both blessed and terrified to be self-employed. but such is the path that i've chosen so its time for my raffi-singing- self to get to work.

now where did i put that hat?

last week i had my first 'back to work brand new never met before' client. from our email exchanges i knew that we were going to be a good fit. nevertheless, i was not entirely home free from wondering if i still knew what i was talking about, if i could actually ever help anybody with anything, or carry on a conversation that did not involve digressions on the subject of a certain you know who.

in no particular order, here are the things that help me to feel like a bona fide professional: earrings, matching socks, lip gloss and my trusty leather satchel.

i tend to be a big fan of my clients. they're just so smart and sincere, real and inspiring. its true that i love food, value nutrition, and have a big crush on health, but the joy i get from my work is really because of the people i work with.

and so it is, that i often leave a consultation feeling inspired and a little wired. one of my own little quirks is to respond to over-stimulation by eating. it used to just happen, and now its more or less a conscious tick. eating can be a grounding experience. sometimes i'll choose deep breathing, walking or yoga instead, but the other day, after meeting with my newest exceptional client, i did not.

the banana was preceded by toasted pumpkin seeds and followed by leftover rice noodles and a pickle. this odd assortment of snacks might leave some thinking that i'm trying to get out of self-employment by heading back to maternity leave.

i assure you i'm not.

1 comment:

  1. hey, i posted and it didn't post . . . this is what i said:
    "you are wonderful."

    it still applies.